dream that could be a poem handwritten this morning without thinking in the moment of awakening
I had a dream that everything burnt to the ground.
When my alarm went off, telling me I’d overslept, I thought,
“What’s the point,
in waking up.
Everything is gone.”
Everything in an apartment had burned.
I was going to
a new school
a boarding school
with a friend
and when we came back
(I want to scream out your name sometimes
because I still don’t feel real, except in the tiny sliver of awakeness
when I snap my eyes open right
when I wake up. But I
can’t talk to you and something
feels like it’s missing.
How have I lived
I woke up regretting
that I had told you
so much last night.
In my dream, a man who
was supposed to be my dream father
was passed out next to an open laptop
of blue light. Men gathered
around him and insinuated
he was simply watching porn.
Everything was gone.
All my stuff.
I imagined living without it,
and I didn’t want to.
They only wanted to save the apartment,
and the apartment building.
I wanted to cry
before and after
I woke up.
I haven’t been eating
opening your heart to a new book is like opening your heart to a new potential heartbreak. but still, we must take these risks.
on being in your 20s
: i’ll be there 22-32 :)
p: I was like hm… didn’t know there was a 32nd day of December LOL.
: i’m so powerful God created it just for me
p: What were you planning on doing on the 32nd?
: travelling some space-time continuum back to 2011, or looping 2013 back into itself over and over again ad infinitum.
p: Dude I don’t need to experience 2013 again LOL. Thanks but no thanks.
: LOL, 2012 was the worst for me. 2013 wasn’t that great but it got better. but here’s to a better 2014 *martini glass*
it’s my year. :) year of the horse
p: …yeah I’m pretty sure 2013 had been the worst year so far for me. [clinks little martini glass]
Damn that’s pretty exciting. But then also like IT’S ALREADY BEEN ANOTHER 12 YEARS? WTF HAVE I BEEN DOING
: awww :( i’m sorry 2013 sucked so much for you. honestly it was pretty bad for me but moving to seattle was when i started going slightly uphill again, heh
DON’T WORRY U R STILL YOUNG MY DEAH
p: It’s fine. It’s going to be over soon anyways LOL. And I’m glad I got to formally meet you and visit Seattle! :D
UGH BUT THAT EYE OPENING MOMENT WHEN YOU’VE SUDDENLY BEEN ALIVE FOR TWO DECADES AND DONE NOTHING
: yes! come back soon! ;) ;P
haha well. it’s okay. the best years of your life are still ahead of you :)
p: Not next summer… But maybe the year after! I miss Zeitgeist D;
And god bless. I sure hope so.
: hehehe. yes come come please :)
hahaha. how old are you? 19? 19 and 20 were my best years. 21 and 22 sucked cos i graduated and had to grow up. but once you do (graduate) and start to get the hang of growing up, it gets better and easier the more self-aware you get. it gets better if you’re open to growing. :) growing into ourselves can be painful, but it’s worth it. we can only get bigger.
hehehe random words of wisdom. just felt like telling you that :’)
p: Turned 20 last October. Hopefully 20 kicks ass. And that’s nice to know actually. If you ever have any spare wisdom feel free to throw that shit at me.